A Case Against Coddling

1

I really liked and strongly recommend The Coddling of the American Mind to everyone. If you're not interested in the entire book, it started off as an article in the Atlantic with the same title. It continues now as a website with a similar title, https://www.thecoddling.com/.

Below is an audio version of The Atlantic article to give a taste of the ideas. The website has a lot to offer too.
2 ​ 3

TheAtlantic · The Coddling of the American Mind - The Atlantic - Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt

Post settings Labels No matching suggestions Published on 1/11/21 4:26 PM Permalink Location Search Description Options Post: Edit

Teaching Students to Interact with Authority

 Rant Context

My school has a huge problem with students wandering the halls and hanging out where they shouldn't be. The admin keeps asking teachers to help. As a good solider, I try to do what I can.

Today I was walking to the restroom about 5-10 minutes before the lunch bell. A group of male students were hanging out in an area (C200 restroom area without a duty teacher present). This area is notorious and was identified in our last staff meeting as a major problem area. Back to the group of males, I don't know any of these students. I recognize a couple as hall wanders, so I asked the students in a normal voice something like, "Where are you supposed to be?"

We all know they shouldn't be there.

I don't recall exactly what happened, but one of the young men said something like, "Bro why are you talking to us, it's almost lunch."

I responded with something like "Bro, I'm just asking where you're supposed to be."

The student cut me off with, "I'm not your bro."

We went back and fourth a bit. The student turned his back to me and continued to speak over me as I tried to talk and reason with him.

I ended up raising my voice and saying something like, "I know your not my bro. I'm not your bro either, and I know you wouldn't speak to me this way if I wasn't a teacher."

His friends talked him down. And one of students said he'd get them moving on. I wrote down the time and went to the bathroom.

I was going to email the admin to get the students name for me, but I didn't for a few reasons.

What Should I Have Done Differently?

I didn't know the student. He didn't know me. Maybe he was having a bad day? I don't know. Maybe he's just an asshole. Who knows. I don't or didn't.

I know with my schools' student population, they want us to approach the group and say something positive first. For instance greeting them with a, "What's up guys?" or complimenting them with a, "I like your shirt?" From these openings/greetings we can build a rapport, and then ask the students where should they be. In theory, this should give a better outcome. From my experiences, it does.

I admit that I could have handled the situation better.

Here is my problem and concern.

Rant Time

My experience today makes me less likely to bother talking to students in the halls. I see staff (teachers and admin) ignore these students all day. It's a pain and extra work for teachers to report students, especially if they don't know there name or grade (like me today), so we don't. In fact, most teachers just walk by and don't say anything. Which is why students feel they can do whatever without being stopped or questioned by a teacher or adult.

It's to the point where students expect teachers to ignore them. When a teacher like myself says something to some of these hall wanderers, the teacher is in the wrong.

Furthermore, modern theories teach teachers to kiss the students' asses just to get them to listen and hopefully follow directions. Just because this works better, should this be the way it is? Maybe? This brings me to my next question:

Are schools teaching defiant students how to interact with authority in the real world?

Conclusion

This has satisfied my annoyance with both the student and the school. I am concerned that a small portion, maybe ~1-5%, of students are learning the wrong lessons about dealing with and speaking with authority. Some students are/feel so entitled that they don't think adults, teachers, or authority figures should question them. And if schools baby them too much, what will happen when a police officer doesn't baby them?

I talked with a couple of my classes and they all thought the student would act a lot different had I been a cop, so that is promising. But I'm still concerned.

I'm back! (and on vacation)

For some reason, my buddy really wants me to keep a journal and write a book about teaching. This blog is a great indicator that I never will, but I'm inspired enough to write now.

Here is the kind of teacher I am.

When he asked me (through text), "Are you teaching at your same school again next year?"

I texted," I am. Probably my last year teaching. I hate teaching."

"If I didn't have to support us (myself, wife, and daughter) and pay day care, I'd quit again."

Add more texts.

My school is a mess. It's probably the worse school I have worked, including subbing, internships, practicums, etc. I have a ton of issues, and very little positives.

I did connect with a few students. I'll try to share those experiences too.

But mostly I left school each day frustrated and annoyed. And went to school each day thinking about wanting to work somewhere else.

I really would rather work at Trader Joe's. I value their company philosophy. And I want to go to work, do my duty, come home, and not think about work. I want my free time to be free of stress. That is the greatest curse of teaching. I almost never bring my work home, but I can't escape school. I dream about school and students. Students haunt me with their negative behaviors and my negative responses.

Some future writing points. Allie G the failed passed athlete. BDR Big Dickhead Racist, my worst student. Fa & Fa two female students that I did very little for, but they seemed to really like me. T-Bone, childish and an absolute terror from what other teachers said, but he respected me. The failed student Dee. The angry student U.

Even now, there is mostly good memories

Probably Time to Retire

Today was my last day at Hubbard Middle School. I read over my last post. Man, things just spiraled down from their.

This year was the worst year of my life. I hated going to school most days. I felt like Office Space. I lost pleasure in most of my hobbies. Teaching is by far the most unhealthy thing I ever did in my life. My mental and physical health is at an all time low. I became impatient (something I was pretty good at), and I was easily irritable.

Tomorrow, dawn awakens! (also a cool poem I read today). I look forward to a new start. I'm pretty unsatisfied with my failures as a teacher, but the cost benefit analysis is too risky. I would like to do something in education and or social change because I still believe that education is the key to solving most if not all the problems our society faces.

Too bad I didn't keep this blog up. It probably would have improved my teaching significantly. O well. I didn't. I do plan to write and read more over the summer. The universe is the limit!

Another First Day

It was my first day today, but not theirs. They were pretty rowdy and I was too nice, as usual. I didn't give positive feedback. And I yelled too much. This cannot go on.

Tomorrow I need to give the student's rights.

All students have the right to learn without being disruptive. 

This is going to be my angle along with lunch detentions with me, or after school detention.

On a positive note, I did have a few moments where students were very engaged and interested in what was going on in class. A few students also gave me positive feedback on their way out of class.

Never Posted (draft from 20 April 2015)

Last week I gave the 8th graders I intern with a writing prompt about writing. I asked them to help me be a better teacher in the future by giving me some meaningful feedback. Most of the students did.

Most of the students like writing and would like to do more fictional writing in school.

The King

I read Stephen King's 11/22/63. The first half was a page turner and the second half dragged along with cyclical raising action.

Jake, the main character, was a teacher and a sub. So I could relate, and enjoyed his perspective. There were two things that ignited a strong response from me. The first, in the beginning of the story, Jake described one of the only times he cried in his life. It was from a student's tragic story about his family. The writing was grammatically terrible, but because the story sparked such an emotional response and the writer wrote it from the heart, that made it great writing. (Maybe I will find the story and include it here. Stand by.)

The second response was Jake describing a day subbing. He talked about the book The Catcher in the Rye, a banned book at the time, and afterwards one of the students told him, "I wish you could teach us everyday." (That quote may be incorrect. Stand by on that too.) The student appreciated Jake because he was real and honest with them.

I read King's On Writing. It was okay, but I gained a couple valuable insights. Good writing is honest. I want to take this message a step further, good teaching is honest. That doesn't mean do not tell lies although that is a good idea too. It means teach/write what you know and who you are; and encourage students to do the same.

Even in grad school, my future teaching peers tell the professors what they think the professor wants to hear. It is so annoying. Every class I feel like Holden Caulfield. What type of teachers are my peers going to make? Yes there may be a time and place where you have to be phony, but hopefully not in my classroom. If you tell a teacher what they want to hear by expressing your real thoughts that is outstanding. But when you regurgitate crap from a text to show your teacher you did the reading, it is so phony! and boring. I hope my classroom is a warm, open, environment for students to ask real questions and throw out wild ideas. Don't tell me what I want to hear. Tell me what you think and feel.

Peace, love, and do good things

Mr. Teacher Dude