Never Posted (draft from 20 April 2015)

Last week I gave the 8th graders I intern with a writing prompt about writing. I asked them to help me be a better teacher in the future by giving me some meaningful feedback. Most of the students did.

Most of the students like writing and would like to do more fictional writing in school.

The King

I read Stephen King's 11/22/63. The first half was a page turner and the second half dragged along with cyclical raising action.

Jake, the main character, was a teacher and a sub. So I could relate, and enjoyed his perspective. There were two things that ignited a strong response from me. The first, in the beginning of the story, Jake described one of the only times he cried in his life. It was from a student's tragic story about his family. The writing was grammatically terrible, but because the story sparked such an emotional response and the writer wrote it from the heart, that made it great writing. (Maybe I will find the story and include it here. Stand by.)

The second response was Jake describing a day subbing. He talked about the book The Catcher in the Rye, a banned book at the time, and afterwards one of the students told him, "I wish you could teach us everyday." (That quote may be incorrect. Stand by on that too.) The student appreciated Jake because he was real and honest with them.

I read King's On Writing. It was okay, but I gained a couple valuable insights. Good writing is honest. I want to take this message a step further, good teaching is honest. That doesn't mean do not tell lies although that is a good idea too. It means teach/write what you know and who you are; and encourage students to do the same.

Even in grad school, my future teaching peers tell the professors what they think the professor wants to hear. It is so annoying. Every class I feel like Holden Caulfield. What type of teachers are my peers going to make? Yes there may be a time and place where you have to be phony, but hopefully not in my classroom. If you tell a teacher what they want to hear by expressing your real thoughts that is outstanding. But when you regurgitate crap from a text to show your teacher you did the reading, it is so phony! and boring. I hope my classroom is a warm, open, environment for students to ask real questions and throw out wild ideas. Don't tell me what I want to hear. Tell me what you think and feel.

Peace, love, and do good things

Mr. Teacher Dude

You actually care

This semester: Subbing is a lot better in 2015. Part of it is changing my attitude. Most of it is accepting my position and limits.

I subbed seven straight days to start the new semester. It was fine. Even though it was boring or frustrating most of the time, I had a lot of meaningful conversations with students on topics from writing to LBGT to morality to religion. But most days I rode my bicycle home annoyed because of the last period.

The last period was loud and off task much more than the other classes. They gave me a headache. One student's voice drilled my eardrums over everyone else. I found my self picking on her or asking her more often to not be so loud. I realized this today after she went silent for the remainder of class. I felt bad on my bike ride home because I noticed I was calling her out when the rest of the students around her were behaving the same. First I thought, "I hope she doesn't think I am picking on her because she is black." Then I thought, "I hope I'm not picking on her because she is black." I do not think I was, but it is something to keep in mind.

Last semester: I had a really cool chat with a small class of students. I was asking them about education and their opinions about learning and teachers. This is what I remember.

Me: What makes a good teacher?

Female Student: A cool teacher like you.

Me: I haven't taught you anything.

Female Student: Yeah, but you actually care...

The student went on to explain how other teachers just yell at therm or tell them to get to work. But I actually care and listen to what they have to say. I rode my bike home that day feeling ecstatic about the student's feedback. The more I reflected, the worse I felt. I felt terrible. I felt like I lost something. Maybe I lost hope, or maybe I saw my fate as a teacher. I don't cry, but I almost cried riding my bike home that day.

How sad is it that students feel like their teachers do not care about them and or care about what they have to say? 

Today: at my current middle school internship.

A female student asked me, "Are you coming back next week?"

"Yes," I said, "Unless something crazy happens, I'll be here next Wednesday."

"Good, I really like you."

I thanked her.

Once again, I rode my bike home feeling happy even though my throat is sore from having to raise my voice too much and often.

After reflecting, once again, I thought of the student from last semester.

Peace, love, and do good things

Mr. Teacher Dude